Growing Up

Don't you just love it when you try to do the right thing and it blows up in your face?

I got myself into the middle of a big misunderstanding by trying to do the right thing. Explanations and apologies haven't helped and it is very clear by actions taken that I am going to be paying for this one for a while.

The last installment of payback just made me sit down and cry. Regardless of what I do, I can't win in this situation. Others are involved now, although how much they know of the original misunderstanding, I don't know. So what do I do now? I want to give up. Turn the reigns over to someone else - I mean, who needs this kind of junk when all you were trying to do in the first place was honor what you thought were the wishes of others?

But, I went to God and asked for direction. I opened my Bible to Proverbs 24. I read several good verses and then v. 10:

"If you fail under pressure, your strength is not very great."

My strength really isn't very great. As a matter of fact, I am pretty much of a weakling. But, for the last couple of weeks, I have been reading and re-reading Ephesians 3:14-21. This passage ends with these words:

"Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope."

So, God's power in me makes me strong enough to do what He has called me to do. I don't have it in me on my own to hold my head up and keep going. I am so far from perfect that I couldn't even see it with a telescope! But God's mighty power in me can accomplish anything! After all, it isn't really about me (as Max Lucado and Rick Warren remind us).

At the end of this horrible week (which I might add, started out with my birthday), I'm a little wiser and a little more humble. I know, regardless if anyone else believes it, that there was never any maliciousness in my actions. God knows that, as well. Being mature is knowing that sometimes, life just doesn't work the way it should. At those times, being right in attitude is more important than proving to others that my actions were right.

So, in Shari's world this week, at 40-something, I'm still in the process of growing up...

(You didn't think I was really gonna tell my age, did you?)